tonight was a pretty bad night, and i don't even know what to say about it. there really isn't a need for any of it, any of the drama or anger or bitchiness. and there is also no need for the bad things that are going to be said about my mother and myself. we're not perfect but we were never anything but kind and now it's all gone to waste because she'll hate us so much that won't even matter, and she won't be grateful for it. and i knew it would be like this, but when it all goes down it's still upsetting, even though i predicted it. i really can't control it because there's no stopping her, but i just wish she would wake up from the world she's in and start treating people correctly, mainly herself.. because if she would treat herself well she would in turn know how to treat others. it's hard, i'm SO mad and i don't want to be involved with her anymore, as i have felt before, but i don't have the energy to have such an issue with someone, or to add to her issues. although she probably wouldn't care.. she doesn't care about anybody but herself and him and his parents. sometimes i wish i wasn't a decent person, cause i held myself back from saying a lot of things i felt and knew that she wasn't i aware of. but i have never and will never be a person who does things like that. because it gets you nowhere in the end. and frankly, what goes around comes around.
and sorry libby if you read this and think i'm being mean or out of line, but i'm not trying to be. you know how she is, and how she can be about situations and how she makes people feel.
one good thing is that in the past in these situations i would have been a lot more upset and confused. but i've finally learned who i can count on and thats myself and my family and my best friend. and while sometimes they do let me down (and vice versa), what's important is that they apologize and don't walk away and our bonds only grow. so now when others do let me down i know that it's okay, because life goes on and so will my life and i'll be just fine, no matter what :)
new layout, new user pics.. yay! i didn't make this layout but i reworked it a lot and it took forever but i'm happy with it.
*theme song* CANOBIE LAKE PARK! tomorrow!!! THAT ROCKS. i'm excited. psychodrome/big swings/tilt-a-whirl.. get ready for me! (ps it sucks because i got my period tonight and that will somewhat hinder the AMAZING experiences that CLP has to offer.. but i'm glad i got it early enough that it won't get in the way of the 4th of july)
crap. i just realized i never called madame gadbois. oops. that's not good lol!
i wanted to watch a movie tonight but that certainly didn't happen and now i'm sad. and i miss bev hills!!! i haven't watched it in like 3 days. this is definitely a sin. what is life without bev hills? the answer my friend, is NOTHING.